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“God of weather, Henry knows, Snow globes don’t shake on their own.”
Occupation: Salesman
Birthday: 12/31
Age: 22
Height: 8’11
Weight: 300
BMI: 18.4
Blood Type:
Gender: Male
Pronouns: He/Him, prefers being referred to by name
Sexuality: Gay
Favorite Color:
Likes: Selling Stuff
Dislikes: Not meeting quota, Swirls, traitors to Salesman Community
Favorite Food: Apple pie
Dreams: Being able to finally be normal
Human
Uncanny Valley
Alive
TW for Death and violence
Salesman S. Salesman, born in 20XX on December 31st, 3:33 PM. Salesman was a perfectly healthy baby boy, but Salesman’s appearance frightened Salesman’s parents. To them, Salesman was the most horrific thing they’d ever seen. Right when Salesman was born, Salesman spent months, even years, being tested, but they just couldn’t find anything wrong with Salesman.
During all those tests, Salesman had to also learn how to be a salesman, Salesman lived in a community of other salesman, all competing to be the best, to achieve their dream and the best afterlife they could ever dream of. Salesman had easily became the best salesman once the tests were done, even being the youngest salesman to ever be this great. Some people in Salesman’s community worshipped Salesman, whilst others in Salesman’s community envied Salesman, but Salesman had Salesman’s eyes on Salesman’s wish, and the perfect afterlife. Salesman’s wish was to finally be perceived as normal, and if that wasn’t possible, then Salesman wished for an afterlife where Salesman wasn’t so scary, an afterlife where Salesman could live happily, that was all Salesman could ever dream about.
Salesman is scared of heights, but it wasn't always that way. Once, and only once, Salesman lost Salesman’s title of being the best salesman, and Salesman’s father was furious. They argued on the balcony, Salesman begging Salesman’s father for forgiveness, that Salesman would repent of any other hobbies and aspirations and focus on the big prize, but Salesman’s words fell onto deaf ears. No matter how much Salesman begged and cried, Salesman’s father wouldn’t listen. Soon, Salesman’s father’s anger was so great, that his rage consumed him, and he pushed his own child off the balcony.
Salesman would not have survived if it weren’t for those bushes Salesman’s mother had planted around the house all those years ago. Salesman had to drag himself to the local infirmary, all the while Salesman’s father watched, until Salesman’s father was out of sight. His treatment costed him 50% of his next 5 sales.
Salesman and Salesman’s father never spoke again after the balcony incident, nobody did, not after that sin Salesman committed a few nights after. It was ruled a suicide, but Salesman knew the truth, Salesman knew what truly happened. Salesman didn’t even shed a tear at Salesman’s father’s funeral.
Salesman knows that Salesman’s life is wrong, that Salesman looks so scary, that what Salesman did wasn’t normal, that nothing that occurred in Salesman’s life was normal, so Salesman never spoke about Salesman’s life, about Salesman’s community. Salesman never knew a life without Salesman’s home, Salesman’s community, so if Salesman were to talk to others about it, what would happen? What would Salesman do then? Salesman couldn’t bear to find out.
Swirls - “Can we PLEASE not talk about him? He betrayed the community, he betrayed Salesman! After everything the community and Salesman have done for him!” Enemies
Celestine - “Salesman’s best buddy! But, people don't normally feel like this about their buddies, do they?” Unrequited love
“I'm not calling you a “good boy” Salesman THAT MEETING WAS SHIT
Salesman page
First Salesman concept
Salesman selling concept
Salesman if he was joyous and whimsical
Salesman self portrait!
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None
“I can't take another day, I need some change! I need more to put behind my name!”